The Thirty Day Trap
To thirty days and beyond: why resets fail, and what not drinking for 50 days gives back...
It’s a form of collective cultural madness that poisoning ourselves with a carcinogen is seen to be the highest expression of grown-upness. Much of this is a perverse and pervasive drink industry narrative: alcohol is required for peak experiences of release and enjoyment. But this narrative requires billions of pounds a year to sustain. Why? Because it goes against a deep, embodied and universal wisdom within us all - alcohol is not good for us. Our bodies tell us this every time we wake up with a mild or skull-cracking hangover or spend the morning dry heaving into the toilet bowl. This is why stopping drinking is often the first thing people do when they want to improve their health.
But what are the actual benefits of not drinking? Research into 30-day abstinence programmes like Dry January give us a useful snapshot. Those who complete Dry January typically report the following:
· 71% say that they enjoyed a better quality of sleep.
· 70% report better overall health.
· 67% report higher energy levels.
· 58% report losing weight.
· 54% say they noticed better skin health.
At the end of Dry January, 72% of participants say that they intend to drink less because of how good they feel, but the majority are drinking back at pre-programme levels within a month.
If not drinking feels this good, why do most people go back to it? The answer is complex — there are many layers to the alcohol trap. But what if the 30-day focus is part of the problem? What if 30 days is simply not long enough to deliver the kind of benefits that truly transform one’s relationship with alcohol? 30-day programmes are based on the idea that taking a break will spontaneously produce enough benefit that people will stop or return to drinking at lower levels. It a Reset Narrative. Unfortunately, the research does not support the Reset Narrative. There are benefits to Dry January, for sure. But these benefits last only as long as people don’t drink. There is little lasting physical, behavioural or psychological change. 30-day abstinence programmes have limited success in terms of changing long-term behaviour because they fail to appreciate that living a full, satisfying and rewarding life without alcohol is a skill. It involves a conscious, complex, non-linear process of learning and unlearning. And like any skill worth having, its acquisition can be frustrating, exhilarating, fun and boring. You can’t learn any skill worth having in 30 days. And definitely not the skills necessary to live a full and rewarding alcohol-free life.
No wonder so many people return to drinking after taking a break.
By personally and culturally investing in the 30 day reset narrative, we may be doing two things, First, we may be reinforcing our personal dependence on alcohol - as mentioned in part one of this post series, we periodically give up alcohol so that we can keep drinking. Second, we inadvertently increase the potency of the drinks industry narrative that alcohol is a necessary part of adult life. The reset narrative deflects attention away from the serious harms of alcohol. Perhaps the fact that the drinks industry ‘supports’ Dry January should alert us to the possibility that 30 day abstinence programmes may be part of the problem rather than the solution to the harms of alcohol.
At 50 days I was starting to understand the benefits of a longer stretch of abstinence. Life just kept getting better - something that I could never have known if I had returned to drinking at 30 days. When we limit ourselves to 30 days, we could be cheating ourselves of a greater prize.
The Reset Narrative and our cultural validation of the 30-day abstinence period stop us from appreciating the transformative benefits of a life without alcohol. Because the real goal of quitting alcohol is self-actualisation, not short-term relief from the misery of drinking too much. The drinks industry knows this, which is why it has largely got behind Dry January and its variants. Once the cat is out of the bag in terms of how alcohol limit people’s lives, the game is up for the drinks industry.
On what not drinking gives back
1. Sleep is the first gift and it is extraordinary.
Expect vivid, wild dreams and the ability to sleep through the night like when you were a kid. Mornings become something to look forward to rather than dreaded — even when you wake ridiculously early because your body is well-rested.
“I had the most amazing sleep last night. I slept right through the night — which is something that rarely happens with or without booze… My dreams continue to be wild. Last night I accompanied the Obamas and their kids to Barack’s presidential inauguration ceremony!”
2. You get your senses back.
Food tastes better and your sense of smell improves. You’ll rediscover your childhood love of cheap sweets and the treat aisle at the supermarket will become your new home. The downside is that you realise people who drink stink — and continue to stink long after their last drink. The smell of wine on people’s breath is gross, particularly the vinegar breath of white wine drinkers. The early morning train carriage smells like a hotel room the morning after a stag do. You realise that your drinking may have been more obvious than you thought.
“The smell of the expensive white wine was actually quite nauseating. It did make me wonder if that is what my kids smelt when I drank in front of them.”
3. You get time back — alarming quantities of it.
But time is only a gift if alcohol hasn’t atrophied your capacity to fill it. Boredom can become a burden, and that burden can lead you back to drinking. You need to rebuild your interest in non-drinking activities to prevent a return to alcohol.
“F@ck me, how much more time do I have now that I don’t drink? In many ways it’s fantastic. So much more time to do things that are interesting. But the time you get back can also be a burden if alcohol has atrophied your ability to take pleasure in non-drinking activities.”
4. You get access to a sense of childlike wonder again.
You realise how much money you’ve been wasting chasing peak experiences to enliven a deadened nervous system. Your brain starts healing, and all you need is a shaft of sunlight and a couple of leaves to feel fully alive.
“I realised that I know this feeling — it’s the wonder of childhood. There were no barriers between me and the experience… No part of my brain that wanted to be elsewhere.”
5. You can be fully present in life’s difficult moments.
Work panic at 4am is more bearable when your body isn’t wasting its resources expelling poison.
“Last night my sleep was destroyed by a series of work-related panic attacks. This used to be a near nightly occurrence when drinking. Although unpleasant, these panic episodes are much more bearable when my body is not trying to expel poison from its system.”
Coming next in 50 Day Lessons: On asking and recieving help….
My book Do I Drink Too Much? Stop Everyday Drinking From Becoming a Life-Limiting Addiction is out now on Amazon.
Approaching 1 year AF in 7 days, your insightful writing has helped!