Day 9

Overwork doesn't leave enough room for the amount of self-care you need in the early stages of giving up drinking...

Sleep is crap - but even in the middle of the night there was so much comfort in knowing that it was not booze induced. No guilt, no shame, no anger - just wide awake and curious. I forced myself to try and go back to sleep rather than get up and work. Yesterday I worked from 5am to 6pm. This is a pretty typical workday for me. A friend told me off about this recently. I left my job at the end of last year because of burn out and work as a freelancer now. She pointed out this kind of behaviour is putting me right back on the same path to burn out. She is right and I need to address this as it will lead to drinking. Yesterday evening I did a yoga class online. During the relaxation session at the end (normally my favourite bit) I found myself wishing it to end, not able to connect with the instructions, irritated with the instructors voice. This is a sign my mental health is poor. But at least I am noticing it and can take steps to address it in a healthier way.

I had seven meetings today! Horrid. Made the final meeting a walking one. Went to the shop afterwards, bought myself a coffee, a packet of Beef Hula Hoops and walked to Broken Hill – the place where I started this journey.

Never noticed before that beef hula hoops refer to their flavour as “iconic” - now that’s what I call self-belief! Lesson for today: Be More Beef Hula Hoop!